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I stopped reading this book when I got to the most applicable advice: sometimes it's best to just cut em loose.
One of the biggest issues when couples come into relationship counselling is the in-laws. Sometimes it isn't even at a conscious level (although often it is) until everything becomes about "your mother"... "your father"....This book is an excellent tool to help you understand why you feel as you do and how to deal with the difficulties in a reasoned and helpful manner. Susan Forward always has an engaging and straightforward writing style, and once again that is to the fore here.
I found this book really insightful and helpful. I was kinda hesitant to pick it up as I wasn't sure it would help in any way but I've read a lot of practical ways in which i can tackle the issues with my in laws. It's so hard to clearly tell your husband how you're feeling without it resulting in a shouting match and this actually went through tips in ways i can approach the issue without it creating more problems. This book actually discusses how, despite having in laws who try to tear your ma...
I have been married for 6 years, and I wish that I had read this book 5 years and 11 months ago. If you have difficult in-laws, this is is an excellent book to help you. It gave me insight into the root of the problem, helped me acknowledge how I was contributing to the problem and gave me steps to work forward to reclaim out house from a critical and controlling matriarch. Everyone has their problems, and this gives you tools to address those issues. Personally, the most helpful section was the...
Toxic In Laws is a well-crafted, thought-provoking look at the dynamics that occur in many, if not most families. The great thing about this book is that everyone can find elements of what goes on with every married couple - to a greater or lesser extent. Sometimes things are a combination of factors and the author points out that everyone is a product of his or her own family history. She takes the blame out of the scenarios she presents, and gives the reader concrete tools and even verbal stra...
This book was wonderful!!!! The first half deals with introducing the different categories of toxic in-laws. The second half tells you how to protect your marriage. Reading the first half of this book actually prompted me to email the author and thank her for writing it. It helped to make me feel less guilty about my feelings toward my in-laws. It also helped my husband understand what I've been feeling.
Helped remind me I am not the only one going through this. The book was excellent, and after reading the "engulfers" and the "controllers" chapter, I felt as if the book was written especially for me. Even though the strategies in the book probably won't help me much, it is nice to know I am not alone in this struggle.
My notes from 2002: "Two months after the wedding and I'm reading a book called 'Toxic Inlaws'. Which mostly proved that it could be a lot worse. Got some tips for coping and what my rights are in the relationship."
Took a while to get into reading all the examples in the first half, but saw the value of it later in the application and take home points.
Such a helpful book! Highly recommend!
This book was incredibly helpful to me in learning new strategies in dealing with my toxic in laws/people in general. Really well written and gives great examples. Unfortunately, my relationship status with my ILs has not improved or changed, but this book has been helpful in realizing how to better deal with their nastiness, move one and take my 50% responsibility.
This has been a fantastic read. Seeing others have the same issues has helped me realize I'm not alone, and that the behavior of my in-laws is not appropriate and harmful. This book teaches you how you can regain control of your marriage, and how to communicate effectively with your partner and how to be a team. Highly recommend
This book really offered me a new realistic perspective to my current situation. I felt hopeless, no article was giving me the advice i needed. I loved that the book also focused on the contributions and baggage that we bring into relationships. I can't say that I've fixed my circumstance, but i definitely have given up my resentment, and found healthier ways to set boundaries.
This book was excellent. I highly recommend this for anyone struggling with in-laws that are difficult. I always thought it was me... until I read this book. Then, I realized that my in-laws were driving us away with their actions. So glad I read it... it helped to open my eyes.
This was well written with very good examples. There is a section on how to actually deal with difficult people / family at the end. This book was not applicable to my life so I can't really comment on its effectiveness, but it was well written.
Great book. Very helpful insights and tools to help anyone take the steps needed to improve their relationships with their in-laws and spouse. Nothing takes the place of in-person therapy or marriage counseling, but a great resource.
There are some good strategies and examples of things to say, but most of this book assumes the partner is not on board. Whole chapters are dedicated to describing partners who don't get it and how to bring them around to your side.
I liked the layout of this book, and way the author takes common issues and assures the reader that it happens quite often. I didn't really like that the entire book seemed to be based on the premise that the spouse is either unaware or denies the toxic behaviour(s).
UnstuckGreat tools, and strategies on a difficult subject. Felt unstuck after reading this book. There is always a step forward in the right direction, if we have the courage to take it.
This offered great insight into something that I am dealing with. I am so thankful for all the advice in this book. I would definitely recommend this to anyone who is dealing with troubling inlaws.
Lots of useful strategies for learning to live with difficult in-laws. Wish I would've found it 25 years ago!
This book gave me some perspective. My in-laws didn't seem so bad after reading what others go through. It offered pretty good advice for the areas applicable to my situation.
This book offered some practical stratgies for navigating in-law issues.
WonderfulHer strategies are very helpful and easy to follow. I would recommend this book to anyone with toxic people in their lives.
This book navigates through many toxic behaviors and scenarios. It also differentiates between annoying behavior and toxic behaviors (which jeopardize your marriage). It reminds you that change doesn’t happen overnight and that your partner may not see the harm, since this is familiar behavior that predates you. Toxic behaviors can wear away at your self esteem and marriage when there are no boundaries and you don’t believe you have rights. “We’ve spent a long time looking at what is unrealistic...
Marrying into families brings together two sets of cultures and habits, and these unions are often collisions in at least some areas instead of smooth mergers. Dr. Forward outlines the common in-law pitfalls, why and how they occur, and most importantly, how to rectify and at the very least better cope with these conflicts. Loyalty confusions often surround problems, and universal events (the wedding, the birth of children) heighten the emotional stakes for all parties. Dr. Forward spends the fi...
Absolutely a remarkable, well written, and I daresay life changing book. I wish I known about this book years ago. My husband is reading the "Toxic Parents" book by the same author and is finding it extremely helpful. I want to read Dr. Forward's other book called "Emotional Blackmail" now as well. She knows her stuff!
Not as good as her other book - "Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life". It definitely has useful information, but not as engrossing as I expected it to be.As Susan herself mentions in the book - Toxic In-Laws perfected their skills by being Toxic Parents first. So I would recommend the aforementioned book.
Tbh, this is a very validating read for anyone who has to deal with toxic behaviours, but I seriously think some of the wording is still a bit too incendiary. Proceed with caution, and potentially follow up with some Dale Carnegie.